i had $1030.70 in my bank account this morning. I was all happy cause my bonus came on my paycheck and I had happy thoughts in my head about everything I could do with all my money. I was going to go and get my new glasses cause I desperatly need them. I was going to buy some new underwear or maybe a new shirt or two.
Then I thought well before I start spending my money I should pay my bills so that I don't short myself somewhere like I have done before.
So I happily clicked on to the pay bills button and started entering numbers.
I payed $267.29 on the power bill that I owed from when I lived with Liz. That brought that down to zero so its no longer a bill I need to worry about.
I payed $50.00 to Ikea cause they are cranky when you don't pay them.
I payed $30.00 to Mastercard cause they are my lowest payment and I like to keep them happy.
I payed $138.48 to the phone company cause I like having a phone. That bill has been building up for the past bit so I fiqured I would put it to zero so that I only have a $25.00 bill every month.
Then I payed $167.44 to Visa cause they like to be payed.
I thought yay these are all my bills except for my other Visa and they switched it to a Mastercard and I have to reactivate and I havn't done that yet. I don't want to pay them until I do in case the payment gets lost in the process.
So there I am all happy that I can pay my bills and so I hit the confirm button. I almost fell over when I saw my account summary.
I now have $376.21 in my bank account. I couldn't beleive that I had payed almost seven hundred dollars in bills. Holy crap. I reasoned with myself though and said thats okay. You still have money and now you can start getting rid of some bills since your done playing catch up.
Such a happy daydream I was living in. I went for lunch with mom and realized that I was sadly mistaken and by hitting that little pay bills button I was screwing myself over.
I forgot about the $126.10 that comes out of my account for Albert Health Care.
I forgot about the $150.00 I have to pay Ken for rent. (who forgets about rent!!)
I forgot about my cat sitting at the vet whom I called to find out how much that was going to cost. At least $90.00!!
I forgot about my gym membership of $35.00.
I suck so lets do the math people. I had $376.21 in my account and $401.10 in outstanding bills to pay.
I still need gas in my car as I have none and kitty litter cause she pees alot from the diabetes and needs her box cleaned frequently.
So I am freaking out becuase I have zero dollars and had told Steve I was going to take him out for dinner cuase his day blew some serious ass yesterday. I told my friends I was going to the movies on Thursday cause I havn't seen them in ever. What the hell am I going to do.
The only thing I could think that I could possibly do is ask Ken if I can postpone rent until the 15th. He said yes of course but he is seriously pissed off. Thats not going to bode well for me. So of the $401.01 that I owed I can now remove $150.00. That leaves me paying $251.10. So I know have $125.11 to get gas, kitty litter and spending money until I get payed until the 15th. Nobody had better ask me to do anything at all for the next little bit. I am too broke for anything.
I hate money. I wish I had didn't have to worry about it. I need a million dollars. At least a million dollars. That would fix my situation. Either that or some kinda of sugardaddy/mommy. That would be good.
My cat is back at the vet today. I had taken her off insulin on Friday as I was instructed to by the vet. My cat had stopped eating. So I took her in to the vet today and she has been eating better ever since we took her off the insulin.
Well, they tell me today that we are putting her back on the insulin. Thats fine with me but what do I do when she stops eating again. They thought maybe she just didn't like the food. So we have been switching her food around trying to fiqure out what she likes to eat. So I told them what I have noticed that she seems to like to eat of the food they gave me. Well the vet said that the food I told them was for a kidney problem. There is nothing wrong with my cats kidneys. So why should I spend all that extra money on prescription food when its not doing anything. Why can't I feed her the cheap food that I know she likes. I don't understand this. This whole thing is getting to be very frustrating for me. I have spent close to five hundred dollars in the past month in vet bills and they still havn't helped her. Am I the only one that thinks this is wierd.
I don't know. I just want to go and sleep now but I am at work and can't. Steve and I are supposed to go to dinner. I don't know if we are anymore as I just can't afford it. I feel like an ass about that. Plus I still have a work thing to go to tonight and thats going to cost me at least twenty bucks. Lets hope the bosses are paying for it. That would be great.
So thats my life this week. Arn't you all excited to know that nothing has chnaged. I know I am cause I was all excited this morning to think that things may have taken a turn for the better. I shall now wallow in self pity
3:40 p.m. on 2004-03-31
